.

fuckin food poisoning.
fuckin piece of SHIT.
and lets not even start on shit for there's already too much of it.
fuckin shit is the colour of bile.
how lovely.
fuckin can't bloody stand the thought of losing more weight. correction, lost.
fuckin viruses, fuckin illnesses.
why must we, living things, be subjected to such vicious nonsense in whatever degree.
why can't everyone just be healthy. ( and im not bloody wallowing in self-pity abt my personal discomfort from this particular point in time thank you)
many, many times i wonder, if it REALLY is a form of punishment, on mankind.
Then again, how abt the rest of all living things?
Karma, some may say, to those who believe.
Then again, how do you explain it when the good and the innocent gets striked down?
In which, it probably brings us back to the first proposition, which I'm reluctant to.
Why? Becos it seems almost too easy an answer. And of cos, I never had absolute faith.
Never wanting to offend, of cos we all have our all stands. And we have every right to.
Curse those that inhibit basic human rights, or mock at differences without a purpose.
Purpose no purpose? So if there's a purpose it gives the antagonist a right to? Uh hmm, perhaps..hmm sometimes yeah, but not all the time? Uh..hmm. Did I just shoot myself in the leg? Well sure go ahead. One is free to discriminate. What IS discrimination. If a friend of mine can discriminate people who purchase beverages from an apparently more upmarket outlet..well what can I say. Deeper integral differences would probably be justifiable. HOWEVER, its how you keep yer differences at bay that matters.
At least, thats how I feel about it.
None of that martyrdom or sainty tone here thank you, but if everyone in the world could practise a little accomodation and respect for differences, communing with our own stinkin race of human beings would really, really be lovelier. Not to mention easier.
Don't get me wrong. Im not yer love all, love all person. That isn't my nature unfortunately, and I know that deep down inside, I can't commit to such a motto being genuine across the board.My heart is not as big as the universe, and I would rather die than live thinkin that a facade was what I thought to be a part of me.
Besides, I don't believe in that 'love all=peace' crap.
Perhaps that's cos I can never bring myself to it. If I don't like you, I don't like you, whatever significant, insignificant, shallow, stereotypical, illogical, logical reason it may be.
How can the act of loving a person be something that has to be enforced , practised or preached?
That is not natural, and love, should only be natural. Anything else, and it's bullshit.
And so, I choose to accomodate.
So why can't fuckers around the world learn to do a lil of that too? It wouldn't kill you really.
Well so perhaps it might a lil at times..ok maybe ALOT sometimes, I don't know you tell me, but would you honestly rather have it the other way? Putting yer personal choices above everyone else's, not sparing a teaspoonful ( or more, if yer heart is bigger than mine, which I'm sure it easily is) of thought for others, go on, just fling yer ways at their faces will you?
Its much too easy to be the selfish bastard, OH trust me I know. Don't we all?
Being the devil doesn't take much work really. You just let yerself run free.
WOAH, dictator J isn't askin for nobody to be a selfless bearer of the halo. The halo is probably much too heavy for her own miniscule head anyway, mess up her hair or somethin.
but the least we can do as human beings is to just shift that bigass reflection of our own that tends to block everything from us, a little, just a little, and then perhaps we can start thinking for others before we suck it all in for ourselves. And there is a potent itch to delve into a favourite (not favourite as in Dang Gui Chicken soup i like best! kinda favourite but cos it gets to me big time) topic of mine right at this moment.

But I will hold it in, the same for my bowels.

Wow, what a digression.

The Big F, is possibly everything that the 100% devotee needs to stay strong in his beliefs.
Question faith, and you're immediately off the road.
Myself? Ah. I question too much.
That's why I was often found travelling between the road and the gravel.
I don't want to turn to religion for the convenience of security.
Surely, religion is more than that.
And of cos, there are those that have proved themselves worthy for admiration. Those that we may not necessarily agree with, but upon hearing them speak with such amazing convinction from their hearts, they have all my respect.

As for the rest, frauds.

Where am I right now you ask?
Well all I can say is I find myself being thrown into this thing called World, Life, and Reality, in which all the words and meanings wouldn't mean a thing to me if I haven't been taught what they meant, without my permission, without a choice.
No, I don't recall anyone asking me before they cut the tube and brought me into this sphere of space, ' Hey you with a head and four extentions from your body, would you like to do this? ', no I really don't.
This isn't quarter life crisis or whichever fraction you might prefer.
Everyone springs up with that diagnosis all the freakin time.
God, gimme something new will you?
No, I wasn't making a demand, it was purely a slang.
Its just a goddamn thought. And I can think about it whenever I want to.
And if one can think about it at 16, so can one at 40. so long as he has reached a certain understanding about his existence and surroundings.
Why do people love labelling and classifying things so much?
Of cos, to make life easier isn't it?
The unfamiliar always tends to be the bad guy. Pity.
But don't get too carried away with it will you?
Its OKAY to live between the lines. Or even AWAY! Who ever said it wasn't?
That know-it-all single minded fucktard? Well gimme his name and I'll deal with him.

Oh. There's too many of them. Right.

It's not right to let the ones inside the circle make you feel uncomfortable. Why should we?
And the audacity of them, if they dare do so. For all they have got are numbers, and that very much sums it all. Ha ha.

Well, someone is certainly right. Continue to live in/by the rules, and there will never be evolution.
Creativity does not grow in a box, no doubt about it.
And when exactly do you know that you're living in a box?
The moment you realise...you need to break out.

No, I'm not referring to my pimples.

And no, this post isn't some sorta intended discourse on life and religion and *yawn* the bigger picture, but rather a travel of thoughts that arisen from wanting to rant abt an unlucky bout of food poisoning to what do you know?

My brain does not work in a series of straight lines. and I'm actually glad for it.



She thinks she knows alot, but oh, I do a lil. No?
Oh.

Over and out.