E is for Apple

The Stupidity of Mankind has never ceased to amaze.

And tragically it seems, it never will.



[Excerpt taken from Here]

Saturday, June 10, 2006

(i) Intro to the Brainless One

Me: Hi Sir, how can I help?

Brainless: I having some problam with my Internet.

Me: Can i have your I/C no please?

Brainless: SXXXXXX & (drumrolls) E for APPLE.

Me: (Stunned silence) Sorry Sir? E for Apple?

Brainless: (Irritated tone) Yah la.. E for Apple.

So I tried both A & E. It was fucking E. Bloody hell.
Looking thru his account & well, there really were some irregularities in his account.

Brainless: Your computer got problam issit? You go get your wandering to tack ok.

Me: (Extremely confused) Sorry Sir, what do you mean by wandering? And erm, what tack?

Brainless: Go tack la. Tack also dunno. Get your wandering to go tack my Internet ok.
Your boss la.

Me: (Enlightened) OH! You mean get my COMPANY to CHECK?

Brainless: Yah la, tell you already what. Get your wandering to tack.

Fucking hell. Fucked up English. Worse was to come.

Me: Sir, I'll need more details before I can raise the issue to my Internet Team to check.
What's your operating system, Sir? Issit Windows 95 ...

Brainless: (Interrupts me) Yah, window 95

Me: .. or Windows 98?

Brainless: Yah yah yah, Windows 98.

Me: Erm Sir, so is it Windows 95 or Windows 98?

Brainless: Should be 98 la.

Me: Ok, what's your ISP Provider?

Brainless: (Long pause then his irritated voice boomed) What ISP? What you talking about?

Me: Sir, is it Starhub, Singnet or PacNet?

Brainless: Dunno la

Me: Ok, any idea if your Internet connection is dial up or broadband?

Brainless: (Sounding extremely pleased with himself that he can answer my qns)
Yah yah, DUALBAND.

Me: HUH? (it escaped from my lips before i could stop myself)

Me: Er Sir, I mean, is it Dial Up or Broadband?

Brainless: Dual band Dual band. Tell you already what.

WTF man. Dualband is for the fucking mobile phone service, not Internet service.



What is lacking, can always be learnt, sometimes even forgiven.
It's when they who are pigs, act like they are monkeys, that calls for a great green bile of repulse.