Karma smacks the Llama

While attempting to relieve myself last night, a disturbing sight residing at a corner near the pee bowl stopped me from undoing my pants.

There, right beside a nondescript bottle of something, was a roach.
Lying on its back, with its legs up and all.

It didn't at all for a moment, occur to me that it might be Joe, back from the dead, as the dead.

Mustering whatever bravery the night had left for me, I squatted beside the bowl and took a closer peak, checking for signs of life.

Yup, it was as dead as the night.

Phew.

And so I pee-ed, never taking my eyes off the brown body of course.

Thereafter, I went off to do the necessary things that normal humans do to get rid of a dead, significantly sized roach.

I ran for a tissue.

Hooking the monster up as gingerly and cautiously as I could ( in case I jolt it back to life) with the serviette, I brisk walked to the kitchen, never taking my eyes off the semi wrapped brown body. ( in case it suddenly drops on my thigh or something)

As I was closing in on my goal; the dustbin, WHAT SHALL I SEE! BUT A LIZARD! WRIGGLING ALONG THE CABINET DOORS!

OH MY GOD IT MUST BE FUCKIN KARMA SOMEBODY FORGIVE ME SISTER LIZ AND BROTHER ROACH I WILL NEVER EVER DREAM OF KILLING LITTLE ANIMALS EVER AGAIN.

I swear to you I felt my heart stopped cold for a split second and then wriggling up to my throat(as I saw Liz WRIGGLING away like it was doing The Twist) and back to where it belongs beating beating beating beating as I swallowed my scream in one fat gulp.

Taking a few deep breaths, I summoned a teaspoonful of courage and pink panthered my way to the dustbin( that suddenly seemed really far away), like a crippled Ninja.

With the goddamn dusbtin finally in my face, I rejoiced with panic. Might have flicked the serviette coffin too frantically, and dead Joe could have possibly popped out and dropped somewhere in the vicinity instead of where it's supposed to be. Great. But who cares, when I've got a looming task ahead of me; getting out of the kitchen, and the only way through is along the cabinet doors, where Liza was last seen, but now no where to be seen.

Shut went the aromatic lid, and the chicken Ninja-ed back through the danger zone, squealing in her heart, a manner even mice would be embarrassed of.

If this isn't karma, it must be the Terrible Duo making a mockery out of me.

Sigh, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.